A long entry..i suppose..

Finally I have the time to blog. Been neglecting my poor diary for almost a week!
Remember I told u peepz that I'm gonna get myself busy..tak sangka sebegini nyer sibuk.
I can't even find time to read my daily dosage of fellow bloggers..not to mention update my blog.
Usually, I will read first and catch up wif things before I update mine.

So how's life have been for me? Although kind of cerita basi, I think I wanna note how have I been for the past 1 week..how i occupy myself...how i tried to cope n continue my life ..back as per normal..whatever I can recall kay..

Tuesday 2.3.04

Kerja pagi. Short-turn. Busy at work. Puasa Hari Asyura tapi by kul 9 pagi, I cannot take it sebab my ulcers were worsening.
So tak leh puasa..
Therefore by the end of the day, I'm very feverish. Still go to MKS n later to BK Bedok wif FHM n Ikinz.
I have high fever, klau gi doctor, anytime boleh dapat 2 hari MC.
I should irritate him? hmm..don't feel like it..don't want too.

Wednesday 3.3.04

Lepas Subuh, slept back coz I know I don't want to go to work. Power tripped..due to some people yang tangan gatal..
but ada hikmah di sebalik aku tak kerja.
Call my boss that I'm sick..cannot even bangun dari katil..met the doctor at 10.30, got 1 day MC. I can't afford to get 2 days MC.

Ada kerja tunggu aku kat kerja. Seek treatment for my acne to.. Given a gel but can't claim, cost $24.
Doctor's remarks was symptoms of stress, dehydration sampai tekak bengkak.. have to rest.
Yah..I'm stress wif things going ard me

Jalan - jalan ngan Mak ard Bedok.gi baca magazine kat library. Went home when Ogy called coz I locked our bedroom.
Lunch, solat..makan ubat..slept ptg tuh.
I was having a very hard time to eat also to drink..
One of the ulcers hit my urat..that's y..was given an oral lotion for this..
I suppose klau tertelan, should be o.k..

Bangun kul 6 ptg, ada registered parcel for me.
One look jer..aku dah tau..nie mesti autograph book aku..
berdebar sey....
minda nie berfikir..will he write?
or maybe he had tear away what he wrote before things turned out this way between us?
Open the seal carefully..yeah my autograph book..dengan pantas, i flip thru the pages..
wil he write? will he write?

I spot a new entry and seeing his name written clearly made my heart stop.
Pening. Tutup buku. Walk to the kitchen..ambik air..and pondering..I don't see the photograph..why??
He never pasted the photograph I took wif him during my sis's wedding in last Dec.
Take a deep breath n go to the pages he wrote. 5 pages in all.
He wrote them in a very unique way...i had to sit down and analyse his words..
nasib tak kena decode..phew..

Antara yg dicatitkan ialah..sekiranya di masa akan datang, andai kata aku tak sudi untuk berkawan dengan dia lagi, DIA akan tetap menghargai persahabtan kita ini..hmm..he wrote on 26.12.03
I wonder if it still the same DIA that I know till the moment I got the book..he ask for my forgiveness for all his wrong doings..n he wrote in the surah which he always recite to me to cool me down when I'm mad at him...
*sob sob*
In all, he still sent shiver down my spine..
I was breathless. Merenung tulisan dia..and read what he wrote twice and decided ..nevermind..I've let u go..but if u ever come back..will I...??And the photograph...maybe he afraid it will add salt to my wound..
Close the book and kept it away from my sight..
not for the time being..not when everything is still afresh to me

We shared fond memories together, didn't we?*sigh*

Had an early nite coz besok nak kena report to work.

Thursday 4.3.04

Masuk jer kerja, submit my MC for my boss to sign.
Boss: So how are u? Any better?
Me: *shook head*..err..nope.. I had a few ulcers in my mouth therfore couldn't eat properly, ended up me having high fever
Boss: So u want to continue ur OFF today?
Me: No..err..dun want too..Doctor says, me under stress.
Boss: (Wif shocked face, he rolled his eyes) stress? Who stress u? Your boss stress u?
Me: Nope..smile..I stress myself! I haven't finished April SATOPS..
Boss: That's still a long way to go, Siti..If u still wanna go off early, u can just go
Me: *smile* (dlm hati, u know, i won't )

haha..tell me abt it..I know I got one thoughtful boss..

Lunch was at AMK hawker centre..dlm pasar..
makan kuay teow soto + rojak India a bit..
But tak sia-sia datang kerja on last Thursday tuh..sebab I managed to finish my work.

But I was very late in emailing TP n Zoo, enquiring abt using their premises for our D & D this yr...
I am in the D & D committee again this year..and this time round, we have to work with less time..
the event will be somewhere end of July..place..still scouting for the best one to accomodate 500pax

And I stay till a bit late at work coz I put away all my sms-es and emails either from me to DIA or vice versa..
It's over..tak sampai hati rasanya nak delete all his emails..not yet ah..
Apa - apa pun, dier pernah menceriakan dan mewarnai hidup ku semusim yang lalu

Ah ..yes..I got one email RE: Warkah from old polymate.
He said, I'm a friend he had the priviledge to spend with during our 3 yrs in poly...
the word "priviledge" made me think..how I'm being appreciated by a friend..
Secara tak langsung, warkah nya itu membuat mata ku berkaca..

"As we grow older, the more people break our hearts, the worse it can feel each time."- - > very true, my friend..

Don't worry..I'll be o.k..coz' I don't believe in upseting so much over a guy..not worth it!
Period.

Friday 5.3.04

Solat subuh, slept again, woke up ard 10 a.m. Breakfast..kemas rumah, get ready to solat Jumaat with Mak kat Masjid Kassim. heh..I remember, the week before, I was sobbing while waiting for the khutbah coz we were early..
Seminggu berlalu dengan begitu cepat sekali..
And alhamdulillah..this time round, I'm o.k. I felt better. I was only upset for 5 days.
Maybe bcoz I was hoping for an end..lebih baik dari tergantung tak bertali..
Lepas solat, gi Geylang ngan Mak..dan aku terbeli 2 kain..untuk dibuat baju kurung..aiseyman..and also 3 VCD P.Ramlee
tapi nvm ah..retail therapy..remember?
:-)
Reach home at 4 ++. And I've been wanting to do this..
so Mak plaited my hair into 7 braids.
Contented.
Mlm, tgk cerita Duplicate kat SURIA.

Sat 6.3.04

Lepas breakfasts, helped Mak with laundry..me ironed clothes..tolong Mak masak, baca buku Advanced..lunch.
Solat and get ready to go to Kak Munarni's place at Pasir Ris.
She had just gave birth 2 wks ago so visiting her with 2 other Kakaks..
Since i dun wanna untie my hair, I'm out of the house with blue bandana. Reach her place @1545 and left at 1720.
Straight home coz no other plan.
After isyak, Mak n me watched vcd Labu Labi - my favourite.

Sunday 7.3.04

Still had to go to work with bandana..was praying hard..jangan laa..si KF tuh ada..
Gd enuff his not working but Jurutera n Zam are workg..argh..buat bodoh jer laa...
Jurutera saw me n first thing he said, " Eh, macam pirate"
Me: *Smile*
Zam: "Kau nie mcm Pirate of the Carribean laa, ti.."

I just had to tolerate this 2 Mats...dunno why..i can always tolerate them but not KF...mesti tongue-lashing laa..alamat nyer..
But actually kan, lain colleagues yg nampak was o.k. No comments sebab bukan nyer satu yang ganjil untuk pakai bandana kat kerja..at least not to our working environment!
Was concentrating assigning numbers to programmes recording till 25 march 2004.
Untill I'm bored, shelve 1 trolley of tapes and off home.
Managed only to read but not updating my blog..
Top up my ezlink and yeah nasib besok kerja ptg.
Dinner wif Mak n after Isyak..hehe..
me dengan Mak pakai inai kat jari..me 5 jari on my right hand n Mak 5 fingers on her left hand..
Sajer suka - suka...I had been bugging her since the previous week.

All in the effort of making myself busy n occupying my mind..Guess Mak tengah ikutkan rentak aku..
*sayang Mak*
Watched Melodi n Keluarga 69 kat TV2.
Off to bed.