Dear Diary..
I have loads to say..
I was happy yesterday.
I remember how delighted am I to see my favourite pengacara kat Msjd Ba'Alwie, face to face...gembira sungguh! Tak terkata..
not becoz he's a celebrity..tapi kira jatuh cinta pada pandangan pertama
(yer..bnyk ah kau nyer berangan, sha!)
Yes, from e first time i saw him, i like him so much..dunno laa why eh..
Very the Malay look + charming, to me, at least..
:-D
the last time I heard news abt him was in 2002, maybe..
he juz came back from Umrah..working wif HP, 2 beradik and he has,
at least 8 cats in his house...
bila bab nie..err..tak per ah..tak yah..thanks..
even while typing this, me tersenyum - senyum sorang2..
tak dapat kugambarkan betapa sukernyer perasaan!
Semalam, kat msjd, packing habis!!
He's was there as one of the volunteers..
Sekali pandang jer, I already knew it's him.
Agaknya, bila kita interested kat sesorang atau sesuatu benda, kita mesti suka nak ambik tahu pasal benda/orang tuh.
Before that, me was feeling quite gloomy coz I was at the bus-stop at Newton. The first time i start rapat ngan DIA pun, he picked me up there. Kita tgk drama..
Aku tak lari daripada teringat..*sigh*
At msjd, also met Kak S*****, Katak's cousin. Sempat tanya khabar.
She's teaching at TKPS kat B.R.
Took 66 home. Reached home at 1030. Lights off @2330.
Today 18 June 2004
Tengok tarikh nari..dah setengah tahun berjalan tanpa kita menyedarinya.
Aku masih ingat apa dan dimana aku berada pada 1 Jan 2004.
I was at Cik Idah's place count-down wif cousins, coz ada kenduri.
Ishk..pantasnyer masa pergi begitu sahaja..
And where was I?
It's long way ago that I used to set resolution. I dun do that anymore and I wonder whether have I gain something for the first half of year that had gone...
*shakes head*
Oh yah..I got my heart break resulting in heartache!
Enuff said.
Something more serious. Been bugging me..
KF
Where should I start?
I just sense something not right. Juz..
Termasuk nari ada lah 5 kali, dimana kita sama shifts.
He didn't talk to me. Not that I hope to talk to him but kita cuma tak akan bertegur sapa bila perang dingin.
Smlm bila aku jalan belakang dia, dan kita tak bertegur sapa..aku tertanya-tanya.
Kenapa dengan KF?
I was thinking hard, whether did I hurt him during our last conversation coz I wasn't feeling angry towards him.
So klau aku o.k..mesti dier laa yang tak o.k kan..so kalau dier yg tak o.k..means, puncanyer mesti laa aku, kan..
Kat mana silap dia, eh?
Iyerlah, mana tau kita dah tersakitkan hati orang ker..almaklum selalu berinteraksi antara satu sama lain.
Fikiran kacau tau!
Iyer laa..
Dah 4 tahun kita kerja sesama, bila first time jadik cam gini..aku pun terpinga-pinga.
Juz now, I thought I smell e minyak wangi yg dier selalu pakai..
and I turned, yes, he acually in my library.
I was still puzzled until...
at 6 p.m, I went into CCR room, talked to Shik & Saf.
Kita bincang pasal kerja, maklum ah kita nyer dua dept akan disatukan.
I happen to ask, sapa2 lagik yg akan joined forces wif my library sebab separuh jer dari mereka yg akan terjejas..
antara nama yg disebut Shik, ialah KF.
Immediately, aku dah tahu jawapan nyer..
I know why he behaved strangely..
Shik was saying words went ard that klau aku kena train dgn KF, mesti best!
Mesti aku kena tekan dgn KF klau dier train aku kat CTA..
During the conversation, Saf kata dier tak nak masuk campur.
Saf cakap, Mi slalu cakap, kita berdua nie asyik gaduh, kahwinkan baru tau..
Sedihnya..
Menakutkannya...
Cakap pasal Mi, masa I was outside Mi's tx and he's inside the room wif KF, he signalled me KF and I wrote msg and showed him what I had wrote.
Aku tulis,"Tak habis-habis"
He like to promote KF in front of me.
Hati nie berkata, he must know something that I don't..
Smlm, masa aku lalu belakang dier tuh, and only we two were walking pass each other n the corridor was quiet, aku betul2 rasa semacam kita dah jadi orang asing sekali.
Macam tak pernah kenal langsung..
Like, I've lost my kawan nak "bertekak".
Aku lebih suka kita on talking terms rather than like this nyer situation..
I think I know why..but I can't exactly say, my intrepretation is correct..
ME: " Thanks, Shik for telling me dat KF is gonna be in my team. It's the answer to my questions on y he's behaving strangely "
Shik: "Kalau aku tau, aku tak bilang sey..biar kau terperanjat comes July."
Worst! Why??
Kenapa dengan orang lain tak mcm ginik?
Dier yg suker bug aku..bertahun pulak tuh..
Bukan aku suker cari gaduh ngan dier coz I'm afraid of the opposite..
These VTOs, know something that I dun..tapi I should not take in seriously..rumours do spread
But at least now that i noe dier nak tekan aku, I get myself prepared. Mentally. Emotionally.
Macam nak gi perang pulak kan...
;-)
Maybe I'll request anybody else but NOT KF to train me when my time comes for training.
Bukan aku takut dgn dier, Shik tapi sebab kita slalu bertekak ah, I try to avoid brush wif him.
And I will have to see him again in lest than 12 hrs time. *sigh*
****************************
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